stay true to your core values

“what we’ve told the kids is that if you have shared core values, you’ll be approaching things from the same perspective. marriage is a marathon, not a sprint and every marriage has its ups and downs. but when you have a meeting of the minds on the big issues, you know you will united in your approach to solutions. and he travels a lot, which helps!” —karen and andy 31 years 

equal division of labor 

“we have an inside manager and an outside manager. the other serves as an apprentice in our respective domains. whoever cooks doesn’t clean up. one grocery shops; the other does the laundry. we have learned over the years to never complain about the job the other does. shrink my best sweater? no problem, i can buy a new one. botch a recipe? no problem, we can order in. we tend to laugh at our mistakes. attitude is everything.” —cindy and terry, married 38 years 

“me” time for everybody 

“we take our “me” time seriously, and though it may not work for everybody, it works for us. absence makes our hearts grow fonder. take a lot of vacations...separately. develop a lot of hobbies and enjoy them....separately.” —mary and eric, married 42 years 

embrace your individuality

don’t look to your spouse to save you or complete you. be your own person, and be true to yourself. never use the words “we think!” don’t change who you are to accommodate another person. in the long run, it will only make you miserable.” —cheryl and mark, married 38 years 

friendship first, last, and always 

“you can’t have a successful marriage without friendship. over 30 years ago, we became really good friends. we hung out with each other’s group of friends and we became really close. after about a year and a half, we started to add romance into the mix and became serious. 30 married years later, we are still best friends who are always honest with each other and loyal to each other.”—max and kathy, married 30 years 

unplug to reconnect

“listening to each other and really being present when you spend time together is essential. be tuned in, not tuned out. if you are trying have a conversation, both parties need to put down the phone or ipad, turn off the tv, and really pay attention to each other.” —julie and billy, married 10 years